How to Build a Bulwark of I CAN!

What do you really want in life? Get out a piece of paper and take 5 minutes and write it down.

If money were not an issue, if time were not an issue, if circumstance were not an issue, if sitting in the carpool line for 45 minutes when you’ve forgotten your ipad AND your phone were not an issue, what would you be doing right now?

Maybe you’d start your own business selling jewelry made from gold-dipped house-flies or run an ultra-marathon in a sparkly pink tutu and high heels or become a surfing instructor for three-legged dogs. ( Now that last one might be a blockbuster, tear-jerking big-screen hit.)

What is your secret dream?

Ok. Go.

Now. Did you do it? Fantastic.

Take a look at what you wrote down and ask yourself, “Self, if this is what you really want, then why don’t you have it?“

Now, underneath, draw a line and write in big letters

WHY DO I NOT HAVE THIS LIFE THAT I WANT?

Then write a letter to yourself and answer that question. Be heartbreakingly honest. Write it allll down. All the dirty, self-loathing thoughts you have as to why you think you aren’t getting what you want. Write down all the excuses you tell yourself as to why you aren’t getting what you want. Write down all the negative, whiney complaints about how you feel about not getting what you want. Write down all of things that you think are beyond your control that are keeping you from what you want. Blame everybody you can imagine, even if it’s your elderly dog that can’t go an hour without whining to be taken outside for some atmosphere.

BECAUSE YOU CAN. YOU CAN, YOU CAN, YOU CAN, YOU CAN!

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Then, take out your phone or your camera and record a video of yourself reading that letter.

Then I want you to watch it. No matter how painful it is, watch that sucker.

How did that make you feel seeing yourself say all of that junk? Does it hurt? Do you feel small? Are you angry? Can you even believe that you could place blame on a poor, defenseless, slobbery pooch?

Now, shred that letter and delete that video.

Wasn’t that as cathartic as a cold shower in a sub-zero igloo?

So, what if that video was the journal of your very, very best friend, the person that you love the absolute bestest? What would you say in response to her deepest, darkest, most honestly vulnerable confession?

Certainly your heart would ache for her, right? You might even be a little bit angry at her for thinking so little of herself.

This time, write another letter and pretend that you are writing to your best friend. Tell her all the reasons why she CAN and SHOULD be working toward what she wants for her life. Tell her all the wonderful things she is good at and all the gifts she has. Tell her that she is worthy and capable and has the grit of a herd of albino alpacas climbing the summit of Everest, and that she has the stamina of a pack of wild, mud-covered boars running the road to Pamplona racing the bulls. Tell her that she just has to keep going and learning and reaching and that she deserves to get what she wants and be who she wants and live the life of her dreams.

Now, record yourself reading that letter. Watch it and let your words sink in.

Then, here is the real challenge.

When you get up first thing in the morning, tomorrow morning, after you’ve had a BIG glass of water, go get by yourself somewhere. Hide from the dog or the kids in the bathroom or the car or the back corner of your closet if you have to, and watch that video every day this week. Everyday this month, this year even.

Because when you actually, visibly, physically see yourself telling yourself that you CAN, it will ooze down into the very core of your being and build up a fortress, a bulwark of self-belief that will set you on your way to I DID.

Because you can. You can, you can, you can. Let it sink in. Just believe it first, and then you’ll figure out the rest as you go along.

Now, I want to hear from you. What do you want of your life? Let me know down in the comments below and I will send you great big, Yes! You Cans!!!

xoxo,

Gwen